Then a friend told me there was talk of the banks nationalizing and we were headed toward socialism.  He ranted for awhile about how we would be forced to share our homes with strangers, money would be worthless, etc.  (Think “Doctor Zhivago”)  It took longer for these thoughts to pass.

If you’ve followed my previous posts, you’ll know I’m trying to be positive in the face of the negativity.  It doesn’t help to steep myself in fear. Yet my friend’s Doctor Zhivago scenario really got me stirred up.  I get that it’s not happening tomorrow morning but still…

I started thinking about what it would really mean – how it would affect ME – if life were to change so drastically.  I felt frustrated and helpless at the thought that an authority could mandate that I hand over my possessions and my home, or an angry mob could take them by force.  That we couldn’t buy food or gas. That our freedoms and choices would be taken away.  That my life and my daughter’s could be at risk.  

Then I realized how much I feel entitled to my life.  Seriously, I was doing the dishes and realized I totally feel entitled to hot water.  To my home (actually the bank still owns it, I just make payments and keep it clean).  To my washing machine.  My clothes.  My ability to work, to drive, to go to the bank and get cash.  To sit in my home office with dinner in the oven and write a blog.  I feel entitled to have things continue – like utilities and clients and Ann Taylor Loft and Safeway and my nice little home being here when I get home. 

But when you get right down to it, there are no guarantees.  I tell my clients this all the time but today it really hit home.

I feel very humbled and very very grateful for today.